The Daily Mail has launched a dating website.
The temptation to imagine one of their listings is far too strong for a Friday afternoon.
Well bred home counties female (sometimes likened to a young Margaret Thatcher) seeks her Hesaltine for afternoon tea and ill-informed sensationalist conversation. Tends not to go outside much, because it's scary out there.
Anyone non-UK (I know there are some of you!) can probably guess fairly well what the Mail is like. But just in case, here's a random headline generator.